The Low Down on Keeping High School Relationships

By: Peyton Wood, DYW of TX 2017

It’s in every teenage movie: girlfriends always go to the same college and stay together forever, being bridesmaids in each other’s weddings and growing old together!! And surprise… the high school sweetheart is there too. While this may be a common movie theme, it isn’t necessarily a common theme in life. Not to say that friendships can’t last a lifetime, but it isn’t effortless to keep friendships going for years to come. This month, I want to suggest ways to keep up with your friends (and boyfriends!) if you want to stay with them through your college years.

 

1. Use your breaks wisely! If you are coming back for a weekend or for a school holiday, check and see if any of your high school friends are making the trek back as well! Something my friends and I did to see when everyone was available was make a calendar on Doodle Polls to mark what days we were available to see when we could all grab lunch! The best way to catch up is in person, so consider putting down the cell phones and going on a shopping trip with your girls!

2. Modern technology has come so far… so use it! When meeting in person is not an option, our cell phones hold so many ways to contact each other. Group chats are great, but reach out to friends one at a time to keep personal relationships. Maybe even call or FaceTime someone every once in a while. Social media isn’t enough to keep meaningful relationships, it is SO important to talk to your friends! Tell them how difficult your classes are, how CUTE that guy in your English class is, how you’re running for student council, I’m sure your friends would love to hear about it!

3. If you’re trying to make a long distance romantic relationship work, it takes similar effort as it does to keep friendships. FaceTime is a life saver. My boyfriend and I are so busy; we rarely have time to sit down and have a conversation during the week. FaceTime helps us feel together even when he’s in a totally different city. We are able to see each other and talk about our days before getting some sleep. Another thing that I would recommend is trying to find time to see each other in person, whether that means you both go home for the weekend or, if you’re close enough, one of you goes over to the other’s school for the day on a weekend. Long distance relationships are really difficult, but the joy that you have when you finally get to spend time with your person is unmatchable.

Time for Myth Busters!!

Myth #1: I have to keep up with everyone from high school, that’s what everyone does.

Fact #1: Keeping high school relationships takes a lot of effort, and it’s easy to tell when people want to distance their college selves with their high school selves. I have friends from high school who did not continue to pursue their friendships with me, and that’s okay. They want to make new friends and a new identity in college, and that may include forgetting every part of who they were in high school. And you may not even want to keep friends from high school, which is fine! We often fall into toxic relationships because they are convenient. You’re neighbors, you have every class together, but that doesn’t mean you have to continue to pursue that relationship in college.

Myth #2: High school romantic relationships will never work in college.

Fact #2: My parents were high school sweethearts. Same with my boyfriend’s brother and his wife. It’s not uncommon to keep romantic relationships from high school through college. I’m only a year in, but I’m still with my boyfriend from high school. If you think you’re capable of making it through a long distance relationship, go for it! If you both agree that keeping your relationship is worth the struggles of long distance, there’s your answer!

Myth #3: I don’t have time to continue to pursue high school friendships.

Fact #3: It takes about 2 seconds to send a “How’s your day?” text. If you want to keep friendships, you will be able to. It may be hard at first since you’re probably used to seeing your friends every day, but it is totally possible, even with busy schedules!