Friends With Benefits/She's Just Not That Right For You

By Megan Jack
Distinguished Young Woman of West Virginia for 2011

Everyone who has read an advice column or spoken with an older friend about college has heard these two words of advice for the future: “Don’t room with your best friend,” and “It’s ok. You’re never friends with all the same people next semester anyway.”

The truth of the matter is you’re going to find that both of these quotes are true AND false. While I haven’t personally experienced rooming with my best friend, I know of multiple occasions where this has worked out. However, I encourage you to keep an open mind and think of the possibilities rooming with a stranger could create. Yes, you may end up with someone completely opposite from you, but you could also end up finding a life-long friend as well. As a student of the largest freshman class in Belmont University’s history, I was put into a room made for four people with six of us. Initially, I was terrified. My roommates were from all over –California, Massachusetts, Tennessee, Colorado, and Illinois. I was afraid my down-home West Virginia roots may not mesh with someone used to Colorado life; however, I was (thankfully) extremely wrong. I went into college unaware of anything about any of the five girls, but now, they’re all an integral part of my life and I don’t know what I would do without them. Even though my best friend went to Marshall University back home in West Virginia, I’m thankful that I was forced to room with strangers here. In the beginning, yes, there were conflicts. The sleeping schedules were erratic, we weren’t used to each others eating habits, and we definitely weren’t used to not being able to leave our dirty clothes in the middle of the room. Now, in the second semester, we’ve learned to coexist a lot better. So much even, that next year, we’re all living together again. The level of friendship I have with these girls is beneficial in numerous ways: when I was sick, they knew exactly what groceries to bring back for me; after my first college relationship ended, Ben & Jerry’s was waiting with six spoons; when doing homework, they were ready to offer their skills to help. What can I say? We’re “Friends With Benefits.”

I cannot stress enough how important the relationships you make can affect your college experience. Make sure you choose your friends wisely. Here’s a list to help you ensure that the good ones remain for semester two and the bad ones disappear. This can help you identify when “She’s Just Not that Right For You.” (Also the “She” can be a “He” too!)

1.    If the only thing you have in common is a crush, “She’s Just Not that Right For You.”

My roommate and her two friends seemed to instantly click. They wore the same size, bought the same make-up, and liked the same boys. After months of sneaking behind each others backs in order to ‘get the guy,’ she finally realized “She’s Just Not that Right For You.”

2.    If they leave you alone, “She’s Just Not that Right For You.”
At 3 a.m. the three of us who stayed home received a text saying “They left me.” What had started as a night of fun, ended in the others leaving for a “better” party and my roommate being stuck where no one could find her. Fortunately, a classmate helped her get a cab home; however, the next morning we realized “She’s Just Not that Right For You.” 

3.    If they pressure you to be under the influence, “She’s Just Not that Right For You.”
Don’t feel uncomfortable not meeting up to go out with someone again who pressures you. Remember, your friends are a direct reflection of you. If all she wants to do is party, “She’s Just Not that Right For You.”

4.    If they don’t make an effort to be your friend, “She’s Just Not that Right For You.”
My roommate had a friend first semester who would constantly ditch her for her boyfriend. After about two months worth of trying to hang out, we finally realized “She’s Just Not that Right For You.”

5.     If they don’t make you happy, “She’s Just Not that Right For You.”
Surround yourself with people who make you smile. Everyone has their days, but there’s no reason to trouble yourself with someone who’s “Just Not that Right For You.”
Megan Jack is a college freshman at Belmont University in Nashville, Tennessee majoring in Entertainment Industry Studies with a minor in Mathematics. Originally from Moundsville, West Virginia, Megan was a participant in the Distinguished Young Women program and was selected as the Distinguished Young Woman of West Virginia for 2011. Learn more about Megan here!

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