Boys: How to Pick 'Em

By Katye Brock
Distinguished Young Woman of America for 2011

 

Okay, y’all.  Don’t lie.  You all know that one of the college experiences you are most excited about is the sea of college boys—cute, flattering, smart college boys—that you will immerse yourselves in come next fall.  It’s a fresh start for all of you.  I don’t know about you, but I grew up knowing the same boys from kindergarten to senior year.  By the time graduation rolled around, I knew everything about each one of them, which did not make any of them appealing.  So here is the good news: you will meet SO MANY BOYS. The bad news? Not all of them are ones you want to hang around with.  So, here is what I have learned about boys from my first year in college.

BEWARE OF FLATTERY!
All of you are beautiful, and it is no surprise that the boys in this world can see that.  However, if that is ALL they care about, they aren’t serious about you or your feelings. Take compliments with a grain of salt; in other words, enjoy them, but don’t assume they mean that a guy wants to fall in love and get married.

MAKE HIM PAY! 
This sounds kind of sadistic, but all I really mean is hold out for a real date! Don’t fall for a boy over text message or Facebook.  Sure, his profile picture is AH-dorable, but what if he is a complete jerk or eats like a pig? You probably want to learn someone’s background before getting emotionally involved.  Maybe it’s my southern roots, but a boy better take me out, open my car door, and pay for my meal.  It’s just how things are done!

AVOID THE HARD PARTY BOYS! 
There are parties in college.  Surprised?  If you are, you must be living under a rock.  I haven’t actually attended any “ragers” in my time at UT; however, I have many friends who are much more into that scene than I am, and, believe me, I have heard stories.  I know you’ve heard a thousand times, “Don’t accept a drink from anyone; always fix your own!” This is so true, but there is more! Know your limits, girls.  I have seen too many cases of the dreaded “blackout,” where a girl doesn’t even remember what happened the night before.  Boys will try to offer you drink after drink, so that you lose control of yourself and give in to what they want.  These boys are NO GOOD.  The ones that are constantly at parties looking for girls at parties are only interested in being involved with girls at parties.  See the trend?  Those boys are playing the field, not considering each girl’s feelings.

DON’T SETTLE!
You will have a lot of friends in college, and a lot of these friends will probably find boyfriends.  Don’t feel left out if you don’t find Prince Charming during your first semester.  Guard your hearts against meaningless relationships.  Hold out for that one guy that truly cares about you!  It is easy to feel pressured to be in a relationship, but don’t settle for the boy that isn’t good enough for you.  You all deserve the best there is.

SEX DOES NOT EQUAL LOVE!

Girls go crazy in college, y’all.  It’s commonly called “shacking.”  This is when a member of the opposite sex spontaneously spends the night with the other.  Don’t be forced to do the “walk of shame.”  People know when you’re doing it.  Boys will tell you anything to get you to satisfy their hormonal desires.  Take sex as seriously as it should be taken.

Those are just a few guidelines.  A special note to those of you with boyfriends: don’t assume there is something better.  I have a wonderful boyfriend that encourages me in the Lord and in all my endeavors.  If you have something amazing going into college, don’t just give it up to explore other options!  You all are beautiful, and remember: Stay Distinguished!

“And it is my prayer that your love may abound more and more, with knowledge and all discernment, so that you may approve what is excellent, and so be pure and blameless for the day of Christ “
Philippians 1:9-10

 
Katye Brock is a college freshman at the University of Tennessee in Knoxville, Tennessee majoring in International Studies. Originally from Tullahoma, Tennessee, Katye was a participant in the Distinguished Young Women program and was selected as the Distinguished Young Woman of Tennessee for 2011 and the Distinguished Young Woman of America for 2011. Learn more about Katye here!

2 COMMENTS

  • Allii Rose

    14th Mar 2012 at 21:26

    Katye,
    This is such great advice. I believe in every one of these and they are truly the best pieces of advice that any teenage girl can follow! You’ll find the right guy….it may not happen as easily as fitting into the glass slipper like Cinderella, or waking up to find your Prince kissing you like Sleeping Beauty, but it will happen. GREAT ADVICE TO FOLLOW LADIES :) Love you!
    Allii Fontaine DYW RI 2011

  • Alexandra Gaswint

    18th Mar 2012 at 19:06

    So awesome being involved in a program such as this!
    Thanks for the heads up about boys (: I still have a year of high school but I can use your, “How to pick ’em rules for the remainder of high school as well as when I go to college!
    Thanks Katye! (:
    -Alexandra Gaswint DYW 2012

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